Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
