I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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