note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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