never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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