Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
