Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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