Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize