We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
