Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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