she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
