Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
