Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
