careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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