sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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