what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
