Already got asked if we're dating
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
