dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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