we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
