After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
