Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
