just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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