My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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