if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
