then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I understand Curling. That high.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
