i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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