would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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