I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
