fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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