I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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