I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize