Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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