she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
