3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
