Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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