i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
