in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
