it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
