Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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