Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
