I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize