She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
