So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
