Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
