we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We just shotgunned beers for America
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This is my gift to your gina
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
