All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Damn victory sex feels great
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
