Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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