I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
