On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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