How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
