Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize