Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
