Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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