STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My room smells like vodka and shame
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dick very happy bro
Help. Why am I so naked?
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