I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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