Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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